Warning: Do not look into this photo’s eyes!

Barbara Streisand attended a charity event in Santa Monica Wednesday night. When Babs performed in Chicago last Fall, I hung out with some of the roadies who worked on her tour. They told me how wonderful Babs is to work with. Supposedly, the whole crew has to obey a long list of rules, which include making absolutely no contact with Babs whatsoever. Workers are NOT allowed to speak to Streisand or even look at her, especially in the eye. If you do, you’re fired on the spot. That is the only concert you could not pay me enough money to go backstage. They be singing the backstage blues. Boo Babs!

So the latest in the Bahamas baby drama is that now Anna Nicole Smith’s mom is trying to block Larry Birkhead from taking his daughter back to the United States. She is also still trying to obtain partial custody even though she had no relationship with Anna. Seriously…Virgie needs to go back to her small town and fade away.

I tried to find this video yesterday. This is almost as good as Karl Rove rapping at a White House Correspondents’ dinner. President Bush rocked out at an event for Africa’s Malaria Awareness Day yesterday in the Rose Garden at the White House. Bush even gets behind the drums. White House Deputy Press Secretary Dana Perino called the performance “solid gold”. That it is. I think him and MC Rove should start a band after their term is up!

In case you forgot: MC ROVE IN THE HOUSE!

The 5-0 handcuffed Victoria and Everything S.O.S. Monday on the Chicago set of the Dark Knight. Read all the crazy details of her run-in with the law in her words below. Great reading material for those who are bored at work. Ha! Victoria the tranny fugitive!

I went to the set of The Dark Knight around 5 p.m. on Monday afternoon to see what was going on at the set. They were done with the filming already for the day. I was taking photos of the set.

So as I was taking the photos and getting some video there a security guard told me that I had to stop with the videotaping. I told him that I was on a public sidewalk and that they can’t stop me from taking videos. He then said if I didn’t stop he would get the police to take my camera from me. I said they don’t have the legal right to do so. Then another guy (a Chicago fireman) came up into my face and told me to leave. I told him no and he said that he would get the cops here. So they got a female cop involved with it and said that she would take my camera from me.

She then got her sergeant involved with it. He goes that I can take still photos but no video. He said that Channel 7 was out there earlier in the day and he wouldn’t let them even shoot video of the movie being shot. I said fine I. I won’t take anymore videos.

Then after he left I was trying to take some more photos and the security guard tried to stop me from doing that.

Well then I told him off really bad. I told him to go f*** himself. So then he called the cops back over and said that I was still taking pictures. The sergeant told him that it was fine for me to take photos of the set. When the cop left I went that was an “ouch” to the guard.

Then I went over to this one building across the street and shot video and they had no clue. Then I was walking east on Van Buren Street to head home and I saw the fireman standing on the stairs and I gave him the bird. He got pissed at that and came after me. As he was coming towards me I told him don’t even think about coming in my face. As I got close to the river he decided to grab me and throw me against the wall.

I said I was going to call the police and have him arrested for assault. The cops came and I told the officer that I wanted the guy arrested. The fireman then said that I touched him first and he wanted to file charges against me.

I was like I want to press charges for assault; the cop said to that that I am going to be arrested. I was like wait a minute here I am getting hit and I am the only one getting put in cuffs. I was like that is bulls***.

The cop put me in the squad car and talked to the fireman. Then he got in the car and started to drive across the river and then stopped. He asked me how I was going to get home and i told him that I was going to walk home. he thought that I still lived out at my dad’s because of the fact my ID still has my dad’s address on it. He just warned me that if I came back to the set that day I would go to jail. He also said I could come back tomorrow when he was going to be off-duty. He looked at the pics on my camera, he didn’t notice that I did have video of the set on there, and after that he took me out of the car and took the cuffs off me.

Here’s some photos our cross-dressing bandit snapped of the set before her little altercation with law enforcement.

John Stamos filmed scenes for ER over the weekend in Chicago a few blocks away from my digs. Love a man in scrubs. So cute!

Ummm I am not sure what to make of this. Lance Armstrong showed up for the Spirit of Jimmy V gala in New York last night with Billy Joel’s 21 year-old daughter Alexa Ray Joel. Billy can’t really give Lance or Alexa a hard time considering that he married a woman 33 years his junior. Looks like it is payback time for dad!

I am seeing some similarities. Vanessa Minnillo unveiled her new collection of Flirt! cosmetics at The Grand in New York yesterday.

Jessica Simpson launched her Dessert make-up line in New York two years ago.

Nicole Richie’s frenemies came out to show support for Richie last night as she hosted a launch party in L.A. for Armani sunglasses. Paris was there and suprisingly…

Lindsay Lohan showed up as well.

Kevin Federline launched a new line of AXE body sprays yesterday in Los Angeles. How he continues to get work I don’t know.

Alec Baldwin’s recent violent voice message on his 11 year-old daughter, Ireland’s, cell phone was definitely not the first time he’s displayed an anger management problem around the child.

In fact, Baldwin has been violent around his baby girl since the day she was born!

Baldwin was arrested for kicking the sh** out of one of my paparazzi friends who was on assignment in a public location to snap a photograph of his new baby after she was born.

“Every year on his daughter’s birthday, Alec has to think about how he spent his baby’s first day home in jail instead of with her,” my pap friend told me.

Sad Alec! Get a grip.