Girls tend to complain about packing on the pounds due to depression, but Kevin Federline proves it can happen to men too!

While Britney Spears was going crazy after their divorce, K-Fed was finding comfort in a bag of potato chips!

“Everybody knows what happened with me and Brit,” Federline tells Access Hollywood. “I’m not going to say that’s the total cause of it but, I mean, just not being happy with myself was probably the main part of my depression.”

“Once you get depressed, you don’t really feel like doing anything,” he says. “You’re kind of discouraged about yourself and then the weight gain too, or that makes me more depressed… I mean, it’s a combination of all of those things.”

Damn Federline, we feel ya!

Luckily, VH1’s Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp (premiering Feb. 14) felt bad for K-Fat’s growing pudge and invited him to join the show in an attempt to lose weight in front of America!

Federline gladly accepted the offer because let’s face it, dude has nothing going on now that he’s not f*cking Britney Spears!

In addition to the show, Federline can thank his improved relationship with Spears for his flatter tummy.

“I think as time goes on, it keeps getting better and better and better,” he explains. “I mean, I’m really happy the way that my life is going right now, I really am.

“I think, you know, I have come a long way,” he goes on. “All of us have…my whole family. It’s gotten so much better from where we were.”

Come a long way family-wise? Yes. Career-wise? Hell to the no.

Despite their divorce, Avril Lavigne confirms that she and ex-hubby Deryck Whibley are on good terms!

“He’s one of my best friends, and we work really well together and we stay in touch,” the singer told Ryan Seacrest on his KIIS FM radio show Tuesday. “I think we’re very lucky. We’ve been friends for a really long time and we always will be family. We have a connection. Things are good. I’m really grateful for that.”

That’s something you don’t see too often in Hollywood! Most ended marriages result in bitter publicized divorces leaving no hope for any type of legit friendship.

Lavigne — who will appear as a guest judge on an upcoming episode of American Idol — says that she and Whibley “still work together all the time,” even though she filed for divorce from the rocker in October after three years of marriage.

Newly single Lavigne has devoted her free time to working on her new album, Pink Crust, which Whibley has even agreed to help with!

“Deryck has done a lot of production on this album and mixing,” she says.

That’s gotta be a bit awkward considering he was the inspiration behind most of the new tracks.

“I’ve been writing this album for awhile now,” she said. “A lot of the songs are really personal to me and honest.”

Props to them for making their friendship work! We can’t imagine things will run as smoothly once one of them finds love again!

Tila Tequila should be focusing on her own marriage woes these days; however, she is redirecting her anger towards Spencer Pratt’s take on wife, Heidi Montag’s, hideous plastic surgery stunt.

“If that’s your wife, you should love your wife the way she looks,” Tila tells RadarOnline.com in an exclusive interview. “If she did want to get all these surgeries done, if he truly loved her, instead of encouraging her to say, ‘Oh ok, if this makes you feel better,’ he could’ve encouraged her by giving her confidence saying, ‘You look beautiful the way you are honey, I love you naturally. I married you because you’re you, not because you’re this Joan Rivers looking plastic face.’”

Speidi often makes references to their Christian faith, but their artificial lifestyle has people questioning their beliefs, including Tila who says, “Girlfriend, the Bible says you need to love yourself and God Bless you,” Tila addressed Heidi. “You need to quit wasting your money on these God damn plastic surgeries!”

Additionally, Tila goes on to jokingly express her concern that Spencer let Heidi get the surgeries “because now when they fight she can’t make angry faces at him, she’s always going to be smiling.”

Tila, with your ridiculous antics, you have no room to be judging their obnoxious life choices — especially when it comes to relationships. Focus on your own drama please.

It looks like Chelsea Handler can now write a sequel to her My Horizontal Life: A Collection Of One-Night Stands book!

The Boots Girls fave celebrity couple, Handler and E! president Ted Harbert, is dunzo!

Chelsea Handler made a brief and questionable comment about her newly single status on Monday night’s new Chelsea Lately. We hoped the sarcastic girl was just kidding, but it looks like for once she wasn’t!

A rep for Handler confirmed her split from her longtime lover on Wednesday.

“The couple is no longer residing together,” a rep told Usmagazine.com. “Ted has nothing but the highest regard for Chelsea both personally and professionally.”

The Boots Girls recently crashed in the same Marina del Rey building where Chelsea and Ted used to reside in the same pimpin’ penthouse together. Now we know why CJ Handy didn’t answer the door when we drunk knocked on it.

Looks like Handler has moved out, but Ted has still been spotted swimming laps in the pool sporting his old man fins and goofy goggles.

Rumors of a split first surfaced in August of last year, but the couple denied all reports.

Poor Chelsea! But hey, at least she still has her little nugget Chuey and her Grey Goose! I mean really, does a girl really need anything else? OK, maybe Stella and Red Bull!

Recent rumors are claiming Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have an alleged $333 million deal to break-up! However, it’s hard to believe this long-term couple is really calling it quits.

Apparently, the couple met with an LA divorce lawyer to supposedly split their assets and custody of their kids. However, in reality, the unmarried couple met with a lawyer to prepare the equivalent to a prenuptial agreement, Life & Style exclusively reports.

“Brad and Angelina had a meeting with a top law firm in LA in December, where they worked out terms of a legal document similar to a prenup,” an insider reveals. “The couple signed the document in early January. They agreed to share their money and assets and custody of their six children, all of whom would live with Angelina in the event of their parents’ breakup.”

Don’t fret though fans! This doesn’t confirm the termination of their five-year relationship. “They didn’t talk to the lawyer about splitting, nor was that ever mentioned at the meeting,” the insider notes, adding that they were “snippy with each other” during the meeting.

“Brad and Angelina aren’t splitting right now,” says a second source close to the couple. “Will they be together forever as a couple? Probably not. It’ll run its course, but I think they’re fine — for now.”

Even though a split hasn’t been confirmed, you know Jennifer Aniston is wetting her pants in joy over the reports!

Even after all the mistresses and lies, Tiger Woods’ wife decides to call off the divorce!

Elin, looking noticeably thinner, was spotted in Mississippi at Gentle Path in patient treatment, participating in Tiger’s sex addiction rehab, according to RadarOnline.com.

This comes as quite a shock considering her original plan was to dump his cheating ass! We say once a cheater, always a cheater, but apparently the steps Tiger is taking to save his marriage are encouraging Elin to stick by his side.

After reconnecting with Mr. Cheetah for a week, Elin arrived back home in Orlando Sunday in good spirits.

“She was happy when she came home,” an insider revealed to RadarOnline.com.

“Things went well.”

After getting caught in a web of lies, Tiger seems to be putting forth his best effort in keeping his family intact.

“He’s told her he’s serious about making it work and doing whatever he can,” the source explains.

The bullshit must’ve smelled real good because Elin’s giving her hubby another shot at love!

We say move on crazy bitch! If he did it once, or 17 times in this case, he’ll do it again! Take the fortune and run!

Kourtney Kardashian says her post baby bod isn’t as fab as the tabloids are making it seem!

The Dash girl took to her Twitter page last week to address OK!’s new cover story featuring a photoshopped photo of her hot mommy body!

“One of those weeklies got it wrong again … they didn’t have an exclusive with me. And I gained 40 pounds while pregs, not 26…But thanks!”

In an interview with Women’s Wear Daily, the new mommy explained the bullshit behind the bogus story.

“They doctored and Photoshopped my body to make it look like I have already lost all the weight, which I have not,” she tells Women’s Wear Daily.

In addition to publishing fake ass pics, the tabloid also claims to have gotten an exclusive interview with Kourt on her “body after baby,” but it’s clearly not true!

Kourtney says she never spoke to OK! for the story, which also quotes friends and step-dad Bruce Jenner.

Whatever girl, we still think you look gorgeous and we can only imagine the number of chicks that would die for your post baby curves!

On the latest episode of The Bachelor, the over-emotional Jake Pavelka dropped four women after neglecting to give away two roses!

To our dismay though, he kept Vienna!

In a nerve-racking two-on-one date, Jake was expected to send one girl packing. However, he made a cutthroat decision and chose to send both women home! The first was Ella, the 29-year-old Tennessee mom and the second was Kathryn, the 25-year-old flight attendant from Kentucky. Both women were obviously heartbroken, but we think it was a blessing in disguise (News flash girls- Jake is a TOOL.)

To emphasize the intensity of the situation, Jake told the camera, “I know in my heart that neither Kathryn nor Ella was right for me,” and ruthlessly threw the rose into the fire.

But don’t think this was Jake’s only bold move of the night. During the rose ceremony, Jake pushed back dramatized tears as he stormed off stage and demanded to speak with host, Chris Harrison. Without a sense of doubt, Jake asked Chris, “do I have to give out two more roses?”

Harrison just told him he should do whatever he thought was best.

Us normal viewers assumed he was going to drop the obnoxious and unappealing Vienna. But surprise, surprise, he kept the bitch! Instead, he kicked out Jessie, the 25-year-old Canuck, and Ashleigh, the bland blonde from Maryland.

The remaining and departing women didn’t even attempt to hide their shock and anger when he chose to keep Vienna.

“Why Vienna?” Jessie asked. “He shocked everyone in there. … I think he’ll regret it.”

And bitter Ashleigh felt no remorse, snipping, “If he can’t see what kind of a person Vienna is over me, then I pity him. There’s a reason why she doesn’t have any friends in the house.”

In reality, we think the remaining girls (minus Vienna) are fabulous! If everything played out realistically, they would all make the realization that Jake is a loser and he belongs with Vienna… the two can go on to live a monotonously miserable life together.

Denise Richards’ daughters know their daddy Charlie Sheen didn’t just get coal in his stocking, but that he legit spent Christmas in the slammer!

And no, they didn’t hear the news from their super bitch mommy, but rather a classmate in Sam’s kindergarten class!

Awkward! Denise probably had a field day explaining that one to a 5-year-old.

“It’s sad. It’s a sad situation,” Richards said in an appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show Tuesday. “Their dad was in jail on Christmas.”

“I did have to tell them about their dad,” continued Richards, who split from Sheen in 2006 after four years of marriage and two children together, Sam, 5, and Lola, 4.

While Denise never took any punches to the face or knives to the throat, she is very familiar with Charlie’s abusive personality.

During their relationship, Richards said that Sheen had a “a very sharp tongue, he played on my insecurities.”

“He never hit me,” she said, but admitted she feared leaving him.

“I was terrified and relieved that I had the courage to do it,” the actress explained. “Our daughters didn’t ask to be born into our conflict….It was impossible to make [our marriage] work.”

Though the couple went through a bitter divorce, Richards and Sheen have found it in their hearts to be cordial to one another for the sake of their beautiful little girls.

“Charlie and I are in a good place now… It’s taken a lot of work on our part.”

Uh, even after he threatened his wife’s life?! That’s definitely something young children shouldn’t be exposed to! We’re surprised Denise hasn’t gone into full bitch mode demanding that she get full custody of the girls!

So far 2010 has brought Vince Vaughn a wife, and now it may bring him a new career venture in his native Chicago.

The funny man is thinking about purchasing the Mercury Theatre in the Wrigleyville neighborhood, and he’s looking to convert the venue into a comedy club.

“Vince Vaughn is interested in purchasing the Mercury Theatre,” an inside source reveals. “He is looking to turn it into a comedy club.”

Vaughn has been no stranger to standup comedy. In 2005 he hosted the Vince Vaughn Wild West Comedy Show, which kicked off and wrapped in the Windy City. Vaughn brought all of his best funny friends to perform on the tour with him.

“Vince did the comedy tour so the idea would be for him to put some of his friends to work,” the source said. “This way he can do what he likes, comedy, and be successful.”

Looks like The Wedding Crasher star is looking for ways to plant more roots in Chicago after going domestic on us marrying girlfriend Kyla Weber in Lake Forest, Ill., earlier this month.

We just hope Vince continues to keep the LOLs coming whether it’s on the big screen or the small stage, because last time we saw him he legit made us cry!

The Boots Girls got to interview Tiger Woods mistress no. 3, Jaimee Grubbs, on Saturday night for RadarOnline.com in one of our fave Windy City nightclub kitchen’s at Manor. We were empowered by the message Grubbs had for Woods: “You suck!”

Hello, girl power!

When asked what she would say to Tiger, Grubbs said she’d tell the famous cheetah “you hurt me” and threw in the BTW “you suck!”

Grubbs went on to say that she regrets that she allowed Tiger to “reel me back in” after she found out he was married. Wait a second, after she found out he was married? Ever hear of Google girlfriend?

Grubbs doesn’t believe Tiger can save his marriage because she doesn’t see how his wifey, Elin, will take him back.

“I don’t think he could save his marriage,” Grubbs said. “I mean, he has every intention to try, but I don’t think he’s willing to do it.”

Grubbs was just as shocked as everyone else in the world was when she found out how many mistresses the famed golfer has — there’s been 14 who have been made public.

“I had no idea there were so many women,” Grubbs said. “I think that is one of the things that disturbed me the most.”

One of the things that disturbed us the most during the interview was how many piercings she had on her face! We believe we counted three little diamond studs everywhere from her nose, eyebrow area and cheek. Could that be three for mistress no. 3?

America’s Next Top Model cycle eight winner, Jaslene Gonzalez hit the Windy City to star in not one, but two projects!

Gonzalez spent the weekend at Vision nightclub in Chicago shooting for a film called Straight Engineering, in which she takes on the lead female role and music artist and actor Vince P. as the male lead.

In addition to the movie, the ANTM winner also starred in Vince P.’s music video for his upcoming single, Girls In the Club, which will also be worked into the film Straight Engineering.

Jon Gosselin and new girlfriend Morgan Christie hit up Park City, Utah for its annual Sundance Film Festival this weekend and were not the least bit shy about displaying their “love” for one another!

As if Gosselin could give a shit about films, he and Christie were spotted getting their mack on Friday at House of Hype party at Cisero.

“Tons of PDA, holding hands, kissing,” an onlooker tells Usmagazine.com. “They kept walking around, it’s not like they tried to be discreet and stay in a corner.”

Though Christie may be a 25-year-old law student, the witness says she “looked anywhere from 19 to 23.”

Well duh! Jon’s got a thing for the youngins!

“Anyone who saw him remarked how inappropriate it was. Gosselin seemed to love the attention.”

Probably nervous that Jon was going to ditch her for another chick, Morgan, was “super clingy and got jealous when he talked to other girls,” said another party guest.

Taking a break from his NYC pad, Gosselin is reportedly crashing at a “massive mansion” owned by Christie’s wealthy family near Park City, a pal says.

Before hitting Sundance parties, the couple picked up some swag on Jan. 22 at the Talent Resources Gift Suite at the Sky Lodge.

“He picked up jewelry for his mother at Rebecca and Eos lip balm for all his children,” an observer tells Us. Gosselin was also overheard telling a pal, “This year I’m having fun. I just went snowboarding, I’m relaxing with my girlfriend.”

While we believe Jon hit Sundance for free alcohol, parties and swag, we’re not buying the report that he’s “taking meetings about walk-on movie roles.”

Ewww! Who wants to see his disgusting ass on the big screen?!

Jersey Shore couple, Ronnie Margo and Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola have kissed and made up since their publicized break-up on last week’s reunion show!

“They did split for the day,” cast-mate Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi told Usmagazine.com Saturday at a 16th NYC birthday bash for Diddy’s son Justin. “But then they got back together two hours later. You never know with them.”

While Ronnie and Sammi continue to rekindle their love, our fave girl Snooks is still single sucking on a pickle… but may have found a new hook-up buddy!

Numerous blogs have linked her to a tan “guido” named Emilio, and when asked about the rumored romance, she told Us: “What the hell? How does that get out so fast? He’s just a friend. We’re just hanging out but nothing too serious.”

Nothing too serious, but Emilio reportedly met her daddio while partying at MGM Grand at Foxwoods in Conn. this past weekend. We’re confused, a random club hook-up or someone she brought along to her paid appearance?!

“He’s my guido. He’s my type,” she added.

He must be a good guy and a jerk-off. It’s all the same!

Although he cheated on his wife with over a dozen skanky hoes, Elin Nordegren is still showing Tiger Cheetah Woods love!

Elin spent about five days near Pine Grove - Gentle Path in Harrisburg, Miss. visiting her hubby in sex addiction rehab, according to RadarOnline.com.

We’re not quite sure why, but she reportedly went there to participate in Tiger’s intensive recovery program… bringing along a private security team to avoid detection by the media.

Umm, hasn’t she ever heard of once a cheater always a cheater?! Elin has over twelve women to prove the saying true!

“The marriage is not over,” Radar quotes a source as saying. “They both want to save it.”

“If Tiger and his wife Elin are serious about repairing their marriage, she will be spending some time in Hattiesburg with Tiger,” said New York Times Magazine writer and recovering sex addict Benoit Denizet-Lewis.

Elin has since returned to her home in Orlando, Fla. but we predict many more trips to Mississippi in order to be at Tiger’s side.

Umm, is Hailey Glassman smarter than this chick?! Tiger clearly has some issues but Elin’s gotta be crazy to not divorce his ass after he’s cheated with so many women! He’ll do it again and maybe even pass the herp on to her!

After bitching and whining about not wanting to risk ruining her almost perfect face in a boxing match, Kim Kardashian sucked it up in hopes to raise money for a dying fan!

In case you missed it, Kim took a punch to the face that left her with a black eye on Sunday night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians — and being the drama queen that she is — admits it was tough to relive that scary moment!

“This episode is crazy!” she Tweeted Sunday night. “Hard for me to watch the boxing matches!”

After her bro Rob Kardashian nearly got the shit beat out of him, we’re actually quite shocked Kim had the balls to fight her fierce opponent.

“I’m a lover not a fighter,” she added a few hours later.

While Kim was getting beat, the New Orleans Saints were not! Her hottie boyfriend Reggie Bush is one step closer to getting that pimp- ass ring as the Saints won the AFC championship game and are headed to the Super Bowl to battle the Indianapolis Colts!

Hmm, sounds more like The Kardashians VS Kendra Wilkinson than a football game!

“I’m so proud of my baby!” she posted on Twitter. “Superbowl baby!!!! WOW no words! Congrats New Orleans.”

Anyway, gotta give Kim mad props for taking punches in the name of charity. We didn’t think she had it in her!

Snooki wants to do her part in helping Haiti.

So, the Jersey Shore star is signing autographs at a Pennsylvania car dealership this weekend with the hope of raising money for earthquake relief in Haiti, reports Usmagazine.com.

For all you East Coasters, she’ll be at the Star Pontiac Buick GMC in Easton, Penn. from 2 to 4p.m. on Saturday afternoon. Additionally, the dealership will donate $100 for every car sold on Saturday.

Snooki is just one of many stars to donate her time and effort to Haiti.

We all know it’s true, but speculation continues to grow about Tiger Woods’ sex addiction rehab hideout.

Just this week, a 16-foot fence was put up around Pine Grove Behavioral Health and Addiction Services clinic in Hattiesburg, Miss., to keep out and block photographers.

Tiger’s rep has refused to comment, but if he is indeed being treated there, he is most likely undergoing intense therapy.

The program (which costs $37,000 for a six week session) is “emotionally exhausting,” journalist Benoit Denizet-Lewis tells Us Weekly.

Denizet-Lewis who also spent time at Pine Grove for sex addiction tells Us that Tiger “may be allowed his own room, but he’d still have to do group therapy.”

Also required at the center is a celibacy contract. “It says you won’t have sex or masturbate while you’re there,” says Denizet-Lewis.

Additionally, he says visitors are allowed! So if Elin decided she wanted to visit her scumbag husband, not only would she be allowed, but it is very encouraged.

Uh, we have a feeling Elin won’t be making any trips to Mississippi any time soon…

Bristol Palin admits it’s tough raising a son at the young age of 19!

“The lack of sleep definitely surprised me,” she said on The Oprah Winfrey Show Friday. “A typical day starts at 4, 4:30 [a.m.].”

She continued to describe an incident when she couldn’t help but cry while trying to rock her screaming baby to sleep.

“I have this big supportive family and stuff, but I just felt so alone,” she said. “[It] felt just like a breaking point where reality sunk in that, yeah, I have a kid. This is my life. This is my full-time job now.”

Bristol, who demands $1,750 a month in child support from her ex, Levi Johnston does wish she was at college with friends, but she’s not too upset. “I have a beautiful baby boy, and he’s awesome.”

And while she is in the process of gaining full custody over her son Tripp, she says she hopes young girls will learn from her story and wait to have sex until they’re married. Additionally, she claims she will not have sex again until she is married.

“I just think it’s a goal to have, and I think other young women should have that goal,” she said.

And her mom, Sarah Pailn, who appeared alongside Bristol via satellite says she wishes she “had had more candid talks about having unprotected sex, about having sex before marriage.”

Regardless though, she is still proud of her daughter.

“She’s handled this so well,” she told Winfrey. “She’s very strong, quite independent. And she has taken full responsibility for her actions. She’s raising Tripp just splendidly, and we couldn’t be prouder.”

Too bad she’s got a loser/nude-model as her baby’s daddy… that’s the real tragedy in this story.

While the season finale of The Jersey Shore turned out to be a huge snore-fest, the reunion show was quite the opposite!

Between the back-and-forth shit talking and Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola storming off the stage, the reunion was a dramatic mess!

On Thursday’s reunion show — taped last week — MTV rolled some never-before-seen footage of Sammi and Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino having a friendly chat in the bedroom!

As the host introduced the clip, Sammi looked as if she were about to burst into tears and suddenly stormed off the MTV stage, shocking her boyfriend Ronnie Margo and the rest of her Jersey Shore fam.

Though he’s pushed her a time or two, Ronnie — trying to be a good boyfriend — chased after his Jersey Shore hoe, pleading, “Sammi, stop.”

“I’m just very embarrassed right now,” she was overheard saying as the show cut to commercial break.

When the show returned, Sammi walked back on stage and explained, “I just think it was an emotional breakdown. I’m good.”

So… MTV rolled the clip and all hell broke loose!

It showed Sammi in bed with The Situation and at one point, she admitted to giving her number to another guy while dating Ronnie at the shore and ended the friendly convo by giving The Situation (her day one fling) a kiss on the cheek.

“I didn’t know about that,” Ronnie said after seeing the clip. “I cut girls quicker than barbers do. She can be right on the list. I really don’t care.” And in the next breath called Sammi a “liar.”

“I never did anything to you; no secret footage, no secret clips online,” he continued. Sammi — who picks fights with Ron Ron nonstop - - then announced on the show: “We’re done.”

While Ronnie and Sammi appeared to be back-on when they were spotted at Us Weekly’s NYC office Wednesday, chances are, they got into another RIDIC argument because Ronnie was seen macking on girls “this week” at the Dublin Down Tavern in Long Island, New York, TMZ.com reports.

We guess the saying really is true, you can’t find love at the Jersey Shore!

Jessica Simpson may not know the difference between chicken and tuna, but girl sure knows a lot about making her booty look good!

The 29-year-old singer is teaming up with Camuto Group and Jones Apparel Group Inc., to launch her own bootylicious denim line, which is expected to hit stores this July!

“Because I live in denim, the fit was the most important. A girl’s booty needs to look good,” Simpson says.

While one may judge Jess’ taste in denim after being mocked for her high-waisted “mom jeans” last summer, we have confidence in our girl’s new fashion adventure!

J.Simp continues, “I was inspired to create a great denim line that complements the entire Jessica Simpson lifestyle brand — a jean that becomes a girl’s best friend, that everyday go-to pair.”

In addition to her new denim line, Simpson is also known for her handbag and shoe collection, which has supposedly earned $450 million!

Umm, can The Boots Girls get a free pair?!

Rihanna definitely has a type… women beaters!

While everyone knows to take Star magazine’s stories with a grain of salt, the new issue reports that Rihanna’s latest boytoy, L.A. Dodger Matt Kemp has been accused of beating his ex-girlfriend, Felisha Terrell, who even filed a restraining order against his ass!

Damn girl, you sure know how to pick them!

Running to clear his bad name, Kemp’s agent is attempting to resolve the issue, claiming the the court order, which was lifted, is now a “non-issue.”

“Matt dated Felisha about two years ago and decided to end their relationship,” agent Dave Stewart tells E! News. “She chose to file a complaint and shortly thereafter, on her own accord, decided to drop it based on the fact that the statements made within were false,” Stewart says in the statement.

“She has very recently said that she has no issue whatsoever with Matt and that she and Matt consider this to be a non-issue. Matt Kemp is a consummate Midwestern gentleman who has never displayed any act of violence towards a woman,” the statement concludes.

Midwestern gentleman?! As girls living in Chicago, we can easily say those are hard to come by!

Unlike Chris Brown, Kemp and his team deny any claims that he has an abusive past. In fact, a rep for the baseball star says he never laid a hand on his ex and that the restraining order had nothing to do with domestic violence.

“During the course of the relationship, there was a restraining order filed by Felisha, but it had nothing to do with domestic violence and to be clear Matt was NEVER physically abusive to Felisha, nor did she fear for her life,” the rep says.

“The restraining order was subsequently vacated. They both have moved on separately but remain amicable.”

Until the day Matt uses RiRi’s beautiful face as a punching bag, we think it’s safe to say this report may be a tad exaggerated!

It appears J-WOWW may be skipping over a Chicago club appearance (AGAIN!) for a more glamorous party… P.Diddy’s 16-year-old son’s NYC birthday bash!

The Jersey Shore star — who was originally scheduled to make an appearance at RiNo nightclub last Friday — canceled due to last minute “mandatory” press engagements in Los Angeles and rescheduled to fist pump the night away this Saturday, Jan. 23.

“I’m sorry to all my fans who were coming out to Rino Chicago to see me this Friday I will not be able to make it but I will be back soon!!” she Tweeted days before her slated Jan. 15 appearance.

“So sorry Chicago! MTV has a mandatory shoot tomorrow 630am and earlier today! Hope to resched.. Xoxo.”

While there hasn’t been any official word on whether or not J-WOWW’s appearance at RiNo tomorrow is still on, her guidette partner in crime, Snooki isn’t leaving us with much hope!

“Off to Foxwoods tonight! P Diddys Party tomorrow night w; my jerz shore fam <3," Snooks Tweeted early Friday morning.

Don’t get your hopes up Chi-Town because we don’t see a newly born reality-TV star passing on a Diddy party!

Gen. Larry Platt may not have gold in his mouth, but he sure is looking to cash in on his smash hit Pants On The Ground!

Even though Platt wrote the catchiest song of 2010 to date, which he debuted during his American Idol audition, he hasn’t seen a dime. However, now he’s lawyered up in the hopes of making some bank on his hit, according to TMZ.

Platt said he’s flattered by the countless parodies and remixes of his tune, but should be getting paid for the song. He never copyrighted his song, but he hired an attorney to take care of that minor detail.

We hope Pants On The Ground gets mad cash ASAP for his clever song. The Boots Girls feel like we should pay him just for the endless LOLs dude has given us!

Nothing like walking the red-carpet with a registered sex offender!

David Arquette showed his man love for pedophile Paul Reubens on Wednesday night at the opening of The Pee-Wee Herman Show at the Club Nokia theater in Los Angeles. Both Arquette and Reubens dressed up as Pee-Wee for the premiere.

That’s probably not the kind of character you want to be emulating David!

Not only was Reubens busted for whacking off in a public theater, but in 2001 he also pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography. Ruebens received three years probation and agreed to be registered as a sex offender.

Nice new BFF David! Let’s just hope you don’t introduce your new pal to little Coco anytime soon!

Tara Reid is giving hope to all single lady train wrecks everywhere!

Reid’s boyfriend, Internet entrepreneur Michael Axtmann, popped the question to her at The Little Door restaurant on Monday night.

“Michael surprised Tara with a beautiful round brilliant cut ring,” the Reid’s rep told People exclusively. “Tara was so happy, and the other patrons clapped and yelled out, ‘Congratulations.’”

Reid and Axtmann began dating last year, and they’re planning a small wedding for family and friends by this summer.

Reid may be a wild one, but her man must like it because he put a ring on it! We’re not holding our breath though…

We may be getting a glimpse of J-Woww with her pants on the ground!

Playboy has apparently offered the Jersey Shore star some mad cash to pose nude in the magazine.

“I got a really good offer from Playboy,” J-Woww told Us Weekly. “But I’m going to hold off and see.”

Meanwhile, DJ Pauly D is thinking of dropping his pants to the ground for Playgirl. “I’m just trying to get my head straight right now!” he told Us. But when Snooki said she’d like to see that issue he replied, “If she buys it, I’m gonna do it!”

We don’t agree with Snooki on this one — we’ll take a pass on Pauly D’s full-frontal!

American Idol contestant and Windy City native, Angela Martin, recently suffered a great deal of stress after learning her mother, Viola Brown Martin, had gone missing. Now it looks like her mom may be gone by choice!

South Chicago suburban police are beginning to think the missing mama may have vanished on her own accord, reports RadarOnline.com

“We are not 100 percent sure that she is not off on her own accord,” Glenwood Police Sgt. Derek Peddycord said. “There are some sensitive issues that I am not allowed to discuss. Out of respect for the family, they’ve asked me not to have too much contact with the media.”

Last seen on Christmas, Angela says her mother left their home following dinner to go visit another daughter. Unfortunately, Viola never made it to her destination and has yet to be seen since.

What makes the story even more heartbreaking is the fact that Angela’s father was murdered just two years ago, which caused her to drop out of a previous American Idol season.

While the police are still skeptical about the whole situation, they’re still treating Viola’s disappearance as a missing person investigation.

“It’s an active investigation trying to locate her,” Peddycord said. “We got her picture out there and have canvassed the area several times.”

Family members have received no contact from Viola, but the search is still on.

“As of yet, she has not been located,” Peddycord said. However, her car was found abandoned in Dixmoor, Ill., a close town to Glenwood.“We’re working with the family and other agencies in the area.”

Despite her ongoing family drama, Angela performed on Tuesday’s American Idol and was sent to Hollywood after an exquisite performance of Mary J. Blige’s, Just Fine.

“It’s people like you, singers like you, which is why I like doing this show,” Simon Cowell told her, as the judges unanimously passed her though.

Our thoughts and well wishes go out to Angela and her family!

What a lucky bitch!

Amy Winehouse managed to weasel her way out of jail time for assaulting a theater manager in December, confirms the Associated Press.

The infamous bad girl pleaded guilty in court this morning to charges of disorder and common assault during a December “pantomime” performance of Cinderella featuring Mickey Rooney. Amy had previously admitted to guzzling five vodka cocktails that evening, before disrupting the performance by raising her voice, after being asked to pipe down.

The “Rehab” singer later left the auditorium to use the restroom, before asking manager Richard Pound for another drink. He instead, suggested she have a water and politely asked her to leave.

Following the dramatic events, Amy’s attorney said she felt “hurt, embarassed and patronized” by Pound, and retaliated with physical violence. She allegedly “grabbed his hair and pulled,” according to the court testimony.

In court, Amy admitted she indeed “lashed out,” but also provided evidence that she has since made drastic attempts to curb her drinking habits.

In place of jail time, Amy must pay Pound 185 pounds ($300) and received a conditional discharge. She can avoid additional punishment by staying out of trouble for the next two years.

Do yourself a favor Amy, and next time someone tries to send you to rehab, just say yes, yes yes.

Charlie Sheen’s wife, Brooke Mueller has just been checked into the intensive care unit at a Sherman Oaks, Calif. hospital.

The news was broken Wednesday morning, when the couple had a last minute cancellation of an Aspen, Colo. court hearing, reports TMZ.

The couple was planning on returning to court to ask the judge to lift the restraining order preventing them from being in contact with each other. Brooke’s attorneys asked to move the hearing to Friday in order for her to recover from surgery related to an “oral infection.”

The restraining order pertains to Charlie’s Dec. 25 arrest, when he allegedly assaulted his wife, threatened to kill her, and brandished a knife.

Brooke, to keep yourself out of intensive care for good, maybe you should rethink your decision to revoke the restraining order? Just a suggestion…

As pathetic as she came across, you couldn’t help but feel sorry for Bachelor victim, Michelle, on the show’s latest episode. The poor girl threw herself at bachelor, Jake Pavelka and without hesitation, he kicked her to the curb.

Michelle appears on today’s Ellen where she tells Ellen Degeneres “I laugh about it!” as she retells the tale of how everything fell apart. “You have to expect something like that going into the show,” she says.

The hardest part of the night for Michelle though, was when she asked Jake for a kiss and he didn’t attempt to hide his hesitation. “I was in it full force,” Michelle says. “I didn’t feel anything back from him so why waste each other’s time?”

She blames their lack of chemistry on the “group date” format of the show, saying, “it would have been different if we had one-on-one date. It was like eight of us and it was the whole day and evening; I didn’t even get to talk to him until that night. “

However, as hard as she tries to put on a tough front, Michelle admits, that if asked by Jake, she would return to the show in a heartbeat. “I would go back. Of course, it’s too late now.”

No offense girlfriend, but it was pretty clear you didn’t even care about compatibility, you’re just SO desperate to get married! Next time, try not to come across so pathetic and you may last past a group date…

Hollywood stars sure know how to come together for a great cause!

In a special two-hour Monday broadcast of Larry King Live, some of Hollywood’s biggest names joined forces to raise almost $9 million for Haitian relief efforts, a rep for the show tells Usmagazine.com.

Haiti: How You Can Help volunteers included: Jennifer Lopez, Paula Abdul, John Mayer, Scarlett Johansson, Ryan Seacrest, Nicole Richie and Joel Madden.

“To come here and see people call in from across the United States — it was awesome,” Lopez, who helped take calls as viewers dialed in their donations to UNICEF and the American Red Cross, told Extra.

In addition to managing phone calls, the stars auctioned off some of their own personalized goodies.

Jared Leto and Seacrest found themselves in a bidding war over Larry King’s infamous suspenders, with Leto coming out on top after dropping $1,000!

In addition, Money maker P.Diddy auctioned away his sunglasses and Abdul purchased the book, Michael Jackson OPUS.

“It was wonderful to raise so much money and quickly,” Abdul told Extra. “It’s just heartfelt.”

The the majority of Hollywood is full of train-wreck celebs, luckily those fools know how and when to come together in a time of desperate need!

After overcoming sickness late last year, Tori Spelling is now playing doctor to hubby Dean McDermott and mom Candy Spelling!

We’re wondering where Tori got her nurturing skills from because it certainly wasn’t from mommy dearest!

“I recently had surgery on my neck,” Candy told Usmagazine.com at the GBK Gift Lounge at the Mondrian Hotel in West Hollywood Saturday. “[McDermott] got in an accident when he was doing the motorcycles last week at the races…he smashed his left shoulder.”

Looks like Candy reconciled with her daughter at just the right time! If they hadn’t decided to bury the hatchet in December after a five year feud, Candy’s sorry ass would probably be sitting at home suffering!

Fortunately, Candy says their relationship now is “absolutely great. We are terrific!”

Since making nice with Tori, Candy has been enjoying quality time with her grandkids.

“They are great,” Candy gushed. “Right now I am not picking them up because of my surgery, but I’m going to see them next week actually.”

We give it a few months until Candy blabs to the media about RIDIC nonsense resulting in yet another feud with her daughter!

Kim Kardashian is denying claims that she made a marital bet with longtime boyfriend Reggie Bush. What did this alleged deal entail? That Bush would put a ring on it if the New Orleans Saints win the Super Bowl!

Yeah, in Kim’s freakin’ dreams! Unlike her publicity-stuntin’ brother-in-law Lamar Odom, Reggie seems like a legit good guy who’s not just looking to make the cover of every tabloid in America!

As usual, Kim took to her blog to address the rumor.

“This is not true,” Kardashian said on her blog.

She explained further, I never made any kind of bet. A radio interviewer asked what I dreamed for in 2010 and I was hesitant and thinking about it and they said what about ring said yes, a Superbowl ring for Reggie. Then they said that if he gets a Superbowl ring, I get an engagement and I said ‘ok deal!’ LOL.”

“This was taken way out of context.” Kardashian continued. “I just wanted to clear that up!”

Everyone secretly knows Kim is waiting for Reggie to pop the question! Come on now, we know she can’t stand the idea that her sissy is living large with an L.A. Lakers star and she’s still JUST dating!

Considering Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi didn’t have much luck finding a jerk off juice-head at the Jersey Shore, the pickle sucking freak is still snookin’ for love!

Is Snooks ditching her Jersey Shore crew to find love on reality-TV?! Sure sounds like it considering she’s already titled her “potential” quest for the perfect quido, Snookin’ For Love.

“Definitely there is no set thing, but it has been talked about,” Snooki told Usmagazine.com at the GBK Gift Lounge at the Mondrian Hotel.

“I got offers from VH1 and other reality networks,” Snooki said.

While at the shore, Snooki proved to have very low standards for guys, picking up any random meat that was willing to have a quick make-out session, but what exactly is this guidette looking for in a male companion?

“A guy I can be real with,” she explained. “I love to be a dork; I love a guy with a sense of humor!”

With her sudden rise to fame, is Snooks scoping out any Hollywood hunks?!

“Paul Walker,” she said. Dude’s been off the market for several years but like a typical Jersey Shore hoe, she doesn’t give a rat’s ass!

“I don’t care!” Snooki said. “It doesn’t matter. I will take him away. I will do the robbery.”

Looks like Snooks is taking tips from The Situation!

It seems like you can’t go anywhere without hearing people bust out Pants On The Ground — even in an NFL locker room!

Brett Favre belted out Pants On The Ground Sunday in the locker room after defeating the Dallas Cowboys. He even turned his hat to the side for the rendition!

Whether we’re walking down the street, watching TV, in a drunk Hawks shuttle bus or at the yoga studio — everywhere we go people are singing Pants On The Ground! Glad to know we’re not the only ones obsessed!

Police cited a Wisconsin man after receiving a noise complaint from his neighbor for “rocking out” to John Denver — can anyone say L-O-L?!

The Fond du Lac 5-0 responded to a noise complaint from a man blasting Denver’s tunes in his apartment, according to ChicagoBreakingNews.com. When the officers arrived at the door, they could hear Denver’s jams rocking at full blast. They banged on the door, and the man didn’t answer.

The officers got the name of the resident from the neighbor and returned to his apartment and called him out by name.

When he finally came to the door the officers asked why he had the music so loud. The resident replied that he was “rocking out.”

The Reporter newspaper in Fond du Lac reports that the 42-year-old was cited for unnecessary loud noise, which could result in a fine of about $210.

The Boots Girls are shaking in our boots because — whether we’re rockin’ Aerosmith Guitar Hero, belting out Pants On The Ground in the lobby of our building with our neighbors or killing Guns N’ Roses at Four Farthings karaoke Thursdays — we’re guilty of “rocking out” almost everyday of our lives! LOL!

We hope the judge does the right thing and rules not guilty! Long live rock n’ roll!!!

Heidi Montag underwent ten absurd surgeries in one day, to come out looking disgustingly plastic. And while having gone through so many procedures in such a short time span seems dangerous, castmate Lo Bosworth feels the real danger lies in the message she’s sending to her younger fans.

“I hope that girls don’t read the article, look at the decisions that Heidi made, and think that’s normal,” Bosworth tells People magazine. “She was quoted as saying that [practically] every celebrity in Hollywood has these procedures done, every day . . . And that’s just not true. I would never want young girls to read that and think it’s the standard that they need to be measured by.”

And while Lo doesn’t agree with Heidi’s decision to massively alter her image, she’s not anti-cosmetic surgery. “I am not against it,” she said on Sunday. However for her, moderation is key.

“If some wrinkles come across my face, sure, I’ll get a little Botox, it’s not a big deal,” she says. “I think you should do what you want to do to take care of yourself. I just hope that the girls who look up to us and watch us don’t look at what Heidi did as the only way to be successful and beautiful.”

Ew, we don’t even understand how Heidi can think of herself as beautiful anymore! Her ridiculously false image is rather sickening…

Come spring, Tiger Woods anticipates getting his life and career back on track, by participating in the upcoming PGA tour.

By that time, Tiger will have completed rehab for his sex addiction at Pine Grove Behavioral Health and Addiction services in Mississippi, a source tells RadarOnline.com.

The source adds, “Tiger is totally devastated. He wants to show everyone that he intends to change.”

The Masters begin April 5, however, it’s unclear whether or not Tiger will attempt that high-profile tournament, which he has previously won four times.

And although Tiger is not publicly revealing his attempts to return to the tour, the source tells RadarOnline.com that he hopes that his stint in rehab will help convince everyone, including corporate sponsors, that he has indeed changed.

Tiger sightings are still unavailable as the rehab center in Mississippi is a closed facility. However, two local media outlets have too reported that Tiger is indeed receiving treatment in town.

In other news, Tiger’s wife Elin Woods has not been wearing her wedding ring but has yet to file for divorce.

Simon Cowell was dead on when he said that he doesn’t think that General Larry Platt’s audition on American Idol will be the last we hear from him!

Our favorite general hit the floor with his pants this morning on The View!

Platt performed his hit, Pants On The Ground, live. He even busted out a few new moves, like push-ups, and new one-liners such as “giddy up”!

Simon said last week he had a “horrible feeling” his original track could be a hit and dude was right!

We live for the day we can download Pants On The Ground on our iPod from iTunes so we can rock it at the gym! Pants On The Ground workout video too, perhaps?!

Pass the butter please. Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino wants to butter Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi’s rolls!

During last week’s double episode of The Jersey Shore, tension began to build during a trip to Atlantic City and the “guidos” and “guidettes” were at each other’s throats acting like lame-ass high schoolers with the insults.

The Situation stooped the lowest, insinuating that pickle loving Snooki is a bit on the chubby side!

“I regret saying it because I have a sister and a mother, but at the same time, everything happened so quickly and that is what happened,” The Situation told Usmagazine.com at the GBK Gift Lounge in West Hollywood Friday.

“We were getting on each other’s nerves,” he says. “It just so happened that previously Snooki had said something to me and I immediately said something to her.”

He can’t be too bothered by Snook’s bod because in the preview for this week’s season finale, the two find themselves in a hot and heavy hot-tub situation!

She may be from the Hollywood Hills, but it turns out Lauren Conrad is more of a Jersey Shore kinda girl!

“I love it!” Lauren told Usmagazine.com on Sunday.

“We had a double episode last night and it was the highlight of my week. It was awesome,” Lauren admitted. And on her old series, The Hills which is rapidly losing viewers, Lauren said, “I actually haven’t seen it since I left [in spring 2009].”

And while Lauren is now a fashion designer and bestselling author, she’s never too busy to catch her favorite new show. In fact, she was able to give a fully detailed recap of the most recent action-packed episode. “There was this one part, where Ronnie hits the guy and they don’t really get the hits but he like knocks him cold. He knocks him out and he runs away and just walks away and he’s all, ‘one shot kid.’ And the guy is out!”

And of the entire cast, Lauren singles out Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, saying, “I have a love-hate [relationship] with The Situation. I’m like, ‘you are not that cool but then I am like, ‘Uuugh you are so entertaining!’ I really like JWoww just because she can throw a punch.”

JWoww is our favorite too. She seems the most normal and drama-free, but the bad-ass bitch can FOR SURE throw a mean punch!

Hailey Glassman has a few words for Jon Gosselin and his new ho!

Obviously still bitter after their highly publicized break-up, Glassman says she isn’t surprised that Jon has moved on so quickly, and in fact, thinks his new girlfriend, 25-year-old Morgan Christie is perfect for him!

“Congratulations for finding yet another young girl with a rich family,” Glassman told RadarOnline.com in an exclusive interview. “I hope he marries her so he can pay me my money back.”

Hailey’s dumb as rocks but props to her for making us LOL! Honey, we think it’s safe to say that you can kiss that money goodbye! That’s why you should’ve taken that bag of Louis Vuitton goodies when you ransacked his Manhattan apartment!

Like Glassman, Christie comes from a family rollin’ in dough! The Greenwich, Conn., native met Mr. Fame Whore while skiing in Utah on Thanksgiving, when shit really started to hit the fan between Jon and Hailey!

During that time, Glassman publicly outed Jon via Twitter, calling him a liar because he claimed to be spending the holiday with his grandmother, but instead was shacking up with a new rich bitch!

“You know what I have to say to her? Tag, you’re it!” Glassman said. “He did the same thing to me and my family. He was living with us. I wish him all the best, but any tears I shed for him now are tears of joy.”

Honestly why are some broads so stupid?! After this past year, who in their right freakin’ mind would EVER think of dating Jon Gosselin, Chris Brown or Tiger Woods?! Come on ladies!

Carrie Underwood just got engaged to Mike Fisher, and her ex, Gossip Girl’s Chace Crawford, has no hard feelings!

At Sunday night’s Golden Globes, Usmagazine.com asked Chace if he had well wishes for the happy couple. He quickly exclaimed, “Absolutely! I wish her the best.”

Actually, it was Chace who dumped Carrie back in 2008 via text message!

“It was completely mutual,” she told Extra following the break up. “We’re both fine…We broke up over text so… It’s like ‘peace out.’”

Looks like it didn’t take too long for Carrie to recover though. She, and Ottawa Senators center were engaged last December, but have yet to set a date for their pending nuptials.

“Our schedules don’t provide us too much time to get married and have time to really enjoy being married,” she said. “We’re trying to really work it out and move some stuff around.”

Congrats to the happy couple! And don’t worry Chace, you’ll find your own gossip girl one day…

After her recent drunken mumbo jumbo acceptance speech, Mariah Carey took it easy on the bubbly at Sunday’s Golden Globe Awards!

“I had like two sips!” she told Usmagazine.com at the show.

While the media had a field day with her schwasted acceptance speech at the Palm Springs International Film Festival earlier this month, Carey says it was totally blown out of proportion!

“Whatever, that was so not a big deal,” she told Us. “Everyone needs to remember the last time they had champagne!”

Whatever is right! At least Mariah knows how to make an LOL out of a some-what negative situation as she recently announced plans to release her own line of champagne!

Though Carey wasn’t nominated, she says the highlight of her night was seeing her Precious costar, Mo’Nique win for best supporting actress in a drama.

“She is real, and so am I!” Carey told Us.

Considering girl wasn’t even nominated, Mariah should’ve taken full advantage of the free alcohol and thrown back a few more at last night’s award show! That’s how us Boots Girls roll!

Demi Moore pulls a diva-esque move!

Instead of joining hubby Ashton Kutcher at Sunday’s Golden Globe Awards, Moore sat at home having a pity party for herself due to a bad freakin’ hair day!

Hell no! You for real?!

“Feeling sick and having a bad hair day!” the actress Twittered.

We’re actually quite shocked the Twitter fanatic didn’t send a Twitpic of herself just to prove to followers how awful her hair really looked! Those Kutcher’s are as Twitter crazy as Tila Tequila… well in a more normal sense of course.

Though she did not attend, Moore tuned into the show to see her husband take the stage to present best actor in a comedy series with his Valentine’s Day costar, Jennifer Garner.

“Hubby looking dapper for the Golden Globes,” she wrote.

After presenting, Kutcher Tweeted that he and Garner were supposed to have more on-stage time, but the “show was running long so they nuetered [sic] our bit.”

Gotta hand it to Ashton for always providing the LOLs! Since winner Alec Baldwin wasn’t in attendance to accept his award, Kutcher joked that he was “keeping” it. “If he wants he’ll have to pry it from my cold dead hands,” Kutcher posted.

P.S. Demi, you have bed head in the majority of your Twitpics and you ain’t embarrassed about that!

It’s true… Tiger Woods has finally been spotted, and his whereabouts are better than we ever could have sex-pected!

Apparently, the skeezy cheater has been getting treatment at a top sex addiction program in Hattiesburg, Mississippi.

Tiger apparently checked into Pine Grove Behavioral Health and Addiction Services, a source tells RadarOnline.com.

The clinic, directed by Dr. Patrick Carnes, is considered one of the top in the nation for sexual addiction. Dr. Carnes has apparently pioneered a treatment for sexually compulsive behavior.

And according to the facility’s website, patients typically spend around six weeks in treatment. Additionally, those suffering from sex addiction receive group therapy, cognitive behavior therapy and something called “shame reduction.”

Hmmm… We think Tiger’s treatment for sex addiction is just an alibi for his horn-dog nature. And really, who would ever go looking for him in Mississippi…?!!

Now that Kate Hudson’s romance with A-Rod has burnt out, she’s rekindling an old flame… with Owen Wilson!

“They hadn’t seen each other for some time, but when things took a turn for the worse with Alex, Kate got in touch with Owen. They are reestablishing their friendship — we’ll see what happens,” an insider tells In Touch.

It appears that Owen is sitting on the back burner and always ready to make nice with Kate after a new fling doesn’t work out for her. The insider explains that before splitting for good in April 2009, Kate and Owen had been playing the on and off again game for awhile.

“They know each other really well. They were talking about getting married at one time,” the insider says. “Their friends also think there are unresolved feelings between them. There’s something there.”

Hmm, sounds like Kate just doesn’t want to be alone and runs back to Owen every-time her ass gets dumped!

According to popular Chicago publications, the Windy City was to expect a Jersey Shore Invasion tonight.

However, over the course of the day, all appearances have been canceled.

Self-proclaimed “guidettes”, Jenni “JWOWW” Farley and Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi were expected to appear at nightclubs RiNo and Manor tonight. According to JWOWW’s Twitter page today though, she’s stuck in LA “in the hotel room with @snooki sick… We r sooo congested.”

CONGESTED?! Bitch. Please… You r sooo going to the Lakers game tonight to sit courtside with your whole “Jersey crew”.

Additionally, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino and DJ Pauly Delvecchio had a fully sponsored scheduled appearance at Lumen tonight where lucky clubgoers were to receive LA Tan gift bags and Jersey shore blow outs. They too, however, are hittin up the Lakers game instead.

Really, it’s a blessing in disguise. Who in Chicago would ever sport a Jersey Shore blowout?! Sorry kids, but we’ve got class.

Pants on the Ground! Pants on the Ground! Boots Girls are obsessed with Pants on the Ground!

Check out our fave American Idol contestant’s creative audition with the original track Pants on the Ground!

Is Gen. Larry Platt even kidding us on how effen’ funny he is!!! We are packing our bags now and headed to Atlanta so we can “look like a fool with our pants on the ground” with Platt! Boots Girls would be more honored to have a Stella with him than with any head of state! LOL!

Move over She Bangs, She Bangs — it’s all about Team Pants On The Ground!!! Can’t wait till the smash song hits the club circuit. We’ll be the first to bust out the Pants on the Ground moves on the dance floor!

In part three of RadarOnline.com’s exclusive interview with Tila Tequila, the wack-job reality star explains what she believes caused the death of her beloved wifey, Casey Johnson.

Despite media speculation that Johnson may have taken her own life or possibly overdosed on a cocktail of drugs, her fiancee rules out suicide completely.

“I definitely know, I definitely know that it was not a suicide. Never, never because she was so excited, so excited to start her new life with me,” Tila explains.

“She was slowly cutting her own friends out one at a time.”

Hmm, those friends are probably the “mean girls” who tried taking all of Casey’s things away from Tila. In the video, Tila holds a gift bag on her lap which contains all that she has left of her lover… letters, lottery tickets and a book about diabetes.

“She even gave me this book, First Book for Understanding Diabetes because she wanted me to help her if something went wrong,” Tila told RadarOnline.com as tears rolled down her face. “She taught me how to inject her.”

“I know there was an accident,” Tila said. “I know there was a mixture of most likely her sleeping pills with her diabetes.”

Though Casey had severe insomnia issues, Tila explains that it was her touch that allowed Casey to get a good nights rest.

“I always made sure to cuddle with her every time she went to sleep so she wouldn’t have to take those sleeping pills.”

Casey Johnson’s death is truly heartbreaking but there’s only so much we can take from Tila! If she truly loved and respected her wifey then she’d shut her freakin’ trap and mourn privately… not in front of the cameras and Twitter!

Katy Perry’s eggo isn’t preggo!

Despite recent Internet rumors that Perry — who got engaged to sex maniac Russell Brand on New Year’s Eve in India — was getting a sonogram and showing off a baby bump, the star’s rep tells Usmagazine.com
that the claims are “not true.”

Additionally, Perry took to her Twitter page Wednesday evening to address the bogus rumor.

The star — who appears to be VERY open — said she was on “my period.”

“Better luck next month peepz,” she posted.

While Katy claims she isn’t preggers, she and Russell were spotted looking at booties at a baby boutique in North London this past Sunday.

Knowing Russell’s ridiculous sex obsession, we wouldn’t be surprised if Katy “accidentally” gets knocked up in the very near future!

America can only dream!

Police were called to Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s Los Angeles home Wednesday when a nearby onlooker suspected someone from the residence was being kidnapped!

Unfortunately, it appeared to be a false alarm!

“Heidi was covering her head with a pillowcase to avoid the paparazzi on her way into her home. A construction worker saw this from across the street and called police thinking Heidi was being kidnapped,” a rep for the couple told Usmagazine.com.

Heidi hiding from the paparazzi?! Girl must be on drugs because the Pratts are practically BFF with the paps! A possible bad hair day? Or maybe she’d just come from having ten plastic surgery procedures?!

The rep added, “All is well now. Just a false alarm.”

Los Angeles must really care about the Pratts because TMZ.com reported that helicopters and cops with guns were surrounding their home Wednesday afternoon, and that a man — said to have worked for Spencer — was briefly detained.

Too bad the cops didn’t slip and shoot the pillowcase ghost! KIDDING…

After laying down $7,000 for a head full of fake-ass hair, Kate Gosselin threw a major hissy fit!

The mommy of eight decided to drop her signature spikey bob this year for a new look: long blonde hair extensions! The process took 20 hours and okay, maybe she didn’t pay the full $7,000 because let’s not forget, she is a famous reality star, but is she regretting the drastic change?

“She hates it!” a source tells the new issue of Us Weekly.

“She thinks her hair looks over processed and damaged,” adds the insider. “She’s afraid people will think she’s one of Tiger Woods’ bimbos!”

Funny she should say that because The Boots Girls first reaction to her new look? Umm, is she auditioning for the next season of Bret Michael’s Rock of Love?!

Twins Cara and Mady aren’t feeling mommy’s new do either. In fact, the girls shrieked “Eww!” when they saw Kate’s long locks.

“They started laughing,” says the source. “Kate ended up in her room crying.”

O-M-G! Kate’s been spending too much damn time with her kids that she’s boo-hooing over ridiculous shit. Obviously her new boytoy dug the fake hair if he took her on a public lunch date!

“Kate has been trying different things, from headbands to ponytails to a Farrah Fawcett–style ‘do. She’s just not sure what she wants.”

We’re actually quite shocked Kate didn’t demand that the stylist remove the extensions immediately after spending 20 hours installing them! Hmm, is Kate slowly losing her bad habits?! We can only hope.

HOLY hot mess express Tila Tequila shared love letters and other tokens from her late fiancee, Casey Johnson, in an exclusive video interview with RadarOnline.com.

In between heaving and bawling her eyes out, the Twitter fanatic whipped out love letters and love potions Johnson had given the reality-TV skank. At one point she even held up lottery tickets that she claims they “scractched together”.

Um, OK.

“The universe really did bring you to me. You’re my angel,” Tila reads from one love letter signed off by Casey.

“This is all I have left of my wife,” a sobbing Tila said. “I have many letters that proves that she loved me.”

And all the press you’re doing — where you’re whoring out personal items of Johnson — proves that you TOO also are in love with, well, YOU!

“I know a lot of people doubted our relationship, but I have tons of cards from Casey,” Tila said.

Reading from another letter Tila insists Casey loved her, “T - you were gone longer than three nights and it’s unbearable. I miss you so, so much.”

Tila goes on to say that Casey was excited to start a family with her.

“The universe really did bring you to me. You’re my angel. I’m so excited for this next year, for us to build our family. You’re going to be an amazing mommy to Ava. Both Ava and I are so lucky. I love you. Casey.”

And the interview goes on and on and on. Boo hoo cry us a river Tila! The only person we feel bad for from your debauchery interview is the poor reporter that had to deal with your hot ass mess! Yikes!

Adam Lambert gave The Boots Boys a cheap thrill last night in Boystown when he stripped us down.

Oh yes he did!!!

The Boots Boys were hot on the American Idol rocker’s trail yesterday on a typical freezing cold January night after he landed in the Windy City for a taping of, what else?, Oprah.

Glambert and a couple of friends had a late-night dinner at Pingpong just before 11 p.m., and then headed straight to Boystown hot spot Roscoe’s.

There the gays went wild for AL, and he played it cool. Lambert worked the room like a politician shaking hands with fans, taking pics with them and was extremely friendly to everyone.

Before heading back to the Sofitel, he stopped to talk to The Boots Boys crazy asses, who were hanging outside of Roscoe’s, in the freezing cold for a chance to meet our fave AI rocker.

“It’s freezing, you guys shouldn’t have to wait out here!” Lambert said. Unfortunately, the underaged BB’s had a little thing called the law from preventing them from waiting inside the bar.

After shaking hands with The Boots Boys, he checked out one BB’s pecks and then proceeded to unzip his coat as they posed for a pic!

Note to Adam: Those THO’s weren’t caused by the cold weather, baby!

Lambert taped Oprah today with Susan Boyle — who shockingly didn’t make it out to Boystown — and is en route to the airport as we type this. Now The Boots Girls are just wondering why the hell we can’t get a hot rocker to take our clothes off for us too!!! Boo…

UPDATE: The Boots Girls just caught up with Lambert at O’Hare International Airport and asked him what he thought of our Boots Boy. His exact words, “He’s so hot!”

O-M-G!

Heidi Montag is back to taking her birth control!

The newlywed — who was eager to become pregnant earlier this year — has new plans for 2010! Heidi says her dream to have kids with husband Spencer Pratt is “kind of hold” right now as she launches her campaign to become a “pop star” with her debut album, Superficial.

Ugh! We’re not sure what’s worse… a Speidi spawn or listening to Heidi’s God awful voice on TV and radio 24/7?! Both sound like quite the nightmare!

“I’m really trying to do this pop star [thing], my first album, so I think that would kind of be distracting from this album coming out,” she said in a radio interview with Ryan Seacrest Tuesday. “But one day I would love to have kids. I don’t know if Spencer quite feels the same way.”

After spending three years working on her debut album which features songs full of R-rated lyrics like, “come eat my panties off of me,” Heidi tells Seacrest that “it’s very personal, empowering music…just about living life and enjoying every moment and living it up–definitely club music.”

Empowering music?! Because instead of some gangsta rapper dude telling some chick to suck his dick, Heidi’s now telling men to come eat her out?!

“I think that Superficial is kind of a double entendre,” she says about the the title of her album. “It’s superficial in a sense that everything in Hollywood is a little superficial. It’s superficial in a positive way too. It’s not what it seems to be, it’s the inside that counts. It’s kind of the unknown and the known.”

Hate to break it to ya sweetie, but your music career will be dunzo in 15 minutes! Stick to Spencer sticking it in you in hopes that you become preggers!

Even after her death, Tila Tequila is still using her supposed fiancee’s name for media attention!

The reality star says she plans to seek custody of the late Johnson & Johnson heiress, Casey Johnson’s adopted daughter Ava. That ought to be quite the struggle considering Casey didn’t even have custody of her child prior to her death, as little Ava had been in the care of her grandmother, Sale.

If Casey couldn’t even handle taking care of her own daughter there’s no way in hell anyone would trust Tila with Ava! The girl is clearly unstable and has a couple of screws loose!

“Her last wish was to have me have Ava,” Tila Tequila tells Extra in an interview airing Wednesday.

Oh really?! Casey must’ve shared this bit of info in that Dec. 30 phone call Tila made to her. Oh wait… Casey never answered the call!

“She’s not resting in peace right now,” Tila tells Extra. “She has come to me in my dreams.”

Though a cause of death has yet to be determined, Tila says Johnson “had a sleeping problem” and is convinced Johnson’s death was accidental.

“I know for a fact; Casey was so excited for our life together,” she says. “I know for a fact it was not suicide.”

While this whole situation is quite sad, Tila’s making it very difficult for us all to believe she’s not just a media whore! If girl’s that upset over her “fiancee’s” death than she should steer clear of Twitter and her RIDIC blog for awhile. Then maybe, JUST maybe, people will start believing her sorry ass.

Hugh Hefner is now down to one girlfriend instead of his usual three!

The 20-year-old twins, Kristina and Karissa Shannon are peacing out of the Playboy mansion and moving into the Playmate house!

Hef tells E! News that his relationship with his main squeeze, Crystal Harris has been getting “more serious” and that the twins have expressed interest in doing more Playmate promotional work for the company.

“They’ve been hanging out with a lot of the other Playmates and they see these girls traveling across the country to do promotion,” he says. “They would like to be doing that, too.”

This girls will be packing up their shit and movin’ on out within the next few weeks, but Mr. Playboy says their move won’t affect their E! show, Girls Next Door.

“They thought it was a good idea,” he said after he suggested the move to them. “They will now be friends, but they won’t be defined as the girlfriends.”

Just as Hef held out on marriage with ex-girlfriend Holly Madison, it doesn’t seem as though new girl Crystal will have better luck tying the knot with him.

“I haven’t had a lot of luck with marriage,” he says. “I don’t have a good track record, and I don’t want to screw this one up.”

Face it bitches… you’ll NEVER be as great as Holly, Bridget and Kendra!

Marky-Mark has a new baby girl!

Mark Wahlberg and wife Rhea Durham welcomed daughter Grace Margaret confirms Usmagazine.com.

Margaret is the happy couple’s fourth child together, despite their recent wedding, which just occured last August.

Mark does credits his wife and kids to helping him shake his former bad boy ways.

“We continue to grow in our relationship,” he previously told Us.

“I was not prepared to be married … when I was 20 or 30,” he said. “Committing to making it work and all the other things that go into building a solid foundation is where I’m at now.”

What a lovely family!!!

It was only a matter of time before Kate Gosselin jumped back onto the small screen. This time however, she’s sans “plus eight”.

According to celeb website The Wrap, Kate will be “trying different jobs and tasks and showing how she performs in the different environments.” The TLC show has yet to be named, but is slated to premiere in late spring or early summer.

Additionally, the program will most-likely have an interactive component, where the professions and challenges will somehow be determined by the audience, according to The Wrap.

For example a potential scenario could include Kate working in a restaurant. (Actually, in December, Kate was spotted behind the counter at a popular greasy diner in Raleigh, N.C.)

Execs are more than convinced that Kate can easily headline her own gig. “She’s proven herself to be a celebrity in her own right,” an executive at Discovery, which owns TLC, told TheWrap. “With the interest she generates, she can fit into any role on her own.”

And Kate believes she’s got what it takes too! At a women’s conference last year, she exclaimed, “I’ve been given the gift of gab, so why not use it?”

Well, it looks like Kate got everything she wanted and more! Another TV show, but this time… no kids to steal her spotlight!

Tiger Woods’ current location is still vague, however his whereabouts post-blowup are quite clear… and pretty unfortunate.

Apparently, for days after his Nov. 27 fight with wife Elin Woods, Tiger slummed it on the floor of a deserted house, an insider reveals in the latest issue of Us Weekly.

“When she kicked him out, he couldn’t exactly go to a hotel, so he ran over to [pro golfer] Mark O’Meara’s empty villa and stayed there,” says a resident of Tiger’s gated Florida community.

Adds the source, who saw the home after Woods left, “The house was gutted except for an air mattress, some pillows, a TV, snacks and Bud Light in the fridge, and a golf glove on the floor.”

Yikes Tiger! Talk about losing EVERYTHING!

Jennifer Love Hewitt, who has previously taken a lot of heat for her fuller-figure, says she almost dumped bf Jamie Kennedy when he called her “pear ass.”

“We had a rough patch in the beginning because the first time we went on vacation, I was going to be in a bikini, and I was very nervous,” she said Tuesday on Lopez Tonight.

“I heard him coming down the hall, so I got in the cute bikini position.

“And he goes, ‘Hey, my little pear ass.’ “I said, ‘I’m sorry, what did you say?’”

Jennifer continued by discussing, in detail, how the remark was NOT a compliment. “Have you ever seen a pear?” she asked. “It starts thin, it gets fat and it never gets thin again. It’s not cute. It’s not a cute fruit.”

She said, since the fight they “worked it out” and now “we’ve embraced the pear.”

Jamie “didn’t mean” the comment in a mean way, Jen added. “He thought it was a compliment, I think.”

FYI Jamie, don’t ever call a girl’s ass fat… DUH! That’s like relationship suicide!

Harrison Ford loves him some Italian — food, that is!

Ford flew himself — on his private jet! — to Chicago’s Midway Airport Monday night to promote his new flick Extraordinary Measures.

Dude looked fantastic, and The Boots Girls/Boy are wondering why he’s not a fatty. After checking into the Four Seasons hotel — Ford went to one of Chicago’s hottest Itallian restaurants, Cafe Spiaggia. Ford and his two friends downed pasta and two bottles of Sicilian wines.

On Tuesday night, his carb binge continued. After walking the red-carpet at the AMC River East 21 theater for the Chicago premiere of Extraordinary Measures — he headed straight to Pane Caldo for another Italian meal.

Upon leaving Pane Caldo, a group of a dozen fans approached him for his John Hancock.

“Harrison can you sign — there’s only five of us?” one fan said.

“Do you know how to count?” Ford replied with a laugh.

No Harrison, you weren’t seeing double from the wine. Dude doesn’t know how to count! Ford still signed for everyone — including a menu for the restaurant to keep.

Despite recent reports that Jason Trawick has been cheating on Britney Spears, the boy is no womanizer!

A recent tabloid claimed that Spears’ boyfriend cheated on her at L.A. club Roger Room Dec. 30 with unknown chick Milana Rabkin, but luckily, Rabkin has stepped up to squash the bogus rumor!

A source explains to Usmagazine.com that the gathering at Roger Room was a birthday party for “one of Jason’s bosses” at WME, the Hollywood agency that employs Trawick.

“I used to work at WME. It was my old boss’ birthday and we were all hanging out,” Rabkin tells Us exclusively. She explains that she and Spears’ new man “worked together” recently. “We send him scripts,” says Rabkin who now works at Energy Entertainment.

Rabkin and Trawick supposedly discussed a potential film at the birthday gathering. “We had actually sent [the script] to him to read for Taylor Swift. We were hanging out and catching up on that. It was purely professional,” Rabkin explained.

We certainly hope the rumors are false because poor Brit Brit has been through a lot and appears to have fully opened her heart up to Jason.

“[Britney] has been honest with Jason about what she’s been through in a way that I don’t think she’s been with other people, and he always preferred to not sugarcoat the harsh reality of what happened to her,” says a friend. “He tells her when she should take responsibility for her own actions.”

Lord knows the girl doesn’t need any more heartbreak in her life!

Heidi Montag begs us to eat her panties off! Uhh, leave that to hubby Spencer Pratt honey. No one wants to get THAT close to you!

After a long, torturing three years of unsuccessful singles, the wait is finally over! Montag has officially dropped her debut album, Superficial, which features an abundance of uber-scandalous tunes!

For example, the track, I’ll Do It features lyrics that Montag should ONLY be singing to her douche bag hubby.

“I brought some treats / I know that you gon love em,” she sings. “Come eat my panties off of me / Do whatever you feel comes naturally.”

“The wait is over,” she Twittered Tuesday, adding, “I put every dollar I have into this album and put three years of my heart and soul into this! ENJOY!”

Three years just tell the world to eat her panties off? TRAGIC.

Pratt — who’s obsessed with anything he and his wife do — commented on the release of Superficial via Twitter as well.

“Heidi Montag Best Pop Album.”

Doubtful. This girl has no chance in hell of succeeding in the music industry. Just take a look at how much of an epic fail her performance at the Miss Universe Pageant was!

Immediate family joined together to lay Johnson & Johnson heiress, Casey Johnsonson to rest.

Close ones paid their final respects to Johnson at her family’s estate in New Brunswick, New Jersey on Tuesday, Usmagazine.com reports.

“Today was just a private, open casket funeral for immediate family,” a source tells Us, adding that a memorial for close friends is set to take place in the next several days.

We’re completely shocked that Tila Tequila’s mentally unstable ass didn’t hop a private jet to New Jersey demanding to kiss her wifey goodbye one last time.

“She wants so badly to go to the funeral, but nobody will give her the details or tell her anything,” a source told Us. “She is extremely frustrated, as what she shared with Casey was real and special. Nobody understood.”

We hope the family gives in and lets Tila attend the memorial service with hopes that she’ll calm down with the ridiculous amount of Tweets!

Simon Cowell apparently couldn’t stand judging American Idol without his secret love, Paula Abdul, by his side!

Cowell — known for his ridiculously harsh critiques — has announced that he is leaving the hit Fox show when his contract expires after the 2010 season.

So what’s next for the British hottie?

He plans to use his judging and production talents on the American version of his British hit show, The X Factor, expected to premiere on Fox in 2011.

“Because of that this will be my last season on American Idol,” he announced Monday at Fox’s Winter Television Critics’ Association press event at the Langham Huntington Hotel in Pasadena, California.

With both Simon and Paula gone after this season, we wouldn’t be surprised if Fox chose to throw American Idol in the can. Honestly, it’s entertaining to watch but it’s getting pretty damn old. Plus, we can only handle so much of Randy Jackson’s dawg pound!

“I felt like doing something different,” he explained. “I want to leave Idol this year bigger and better than it’s been before.”

Will Simon and Paula continue their sexual tension on The X Factor? As for rumors that she’ll serve as a judge on the show, Simon said, “I adore Paula. Whatever happens with her, I will be working with her in some capacity because I miss her.”

Maybe they’ll be working together in the bedroom! Regardless of their tiffs in the judging seats, these two seriously need to just get it on and relieve the tension!

Nothing like breaking it down to a little house music right??!

On Saturday night, Jersey Shore star, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino hosted the first “Guido & Guidette Ball” at San Diego’s Stingaree nightclub.

The Situation spent his night mingling with the crowd and dancing in a go-go cage. And in his typical fashion, “he was surrounded by a crowd of girls the whole night, getting numbers and flirting,” a clubgoer says.

Additionally, “there was lots of ab flashing - in the DJ booth, up on the rooftop, in the go-go cage,” the witness tells
Usmagazine.com.

Finally, after downing several vodka cocktails in the club’s VIP section, The Situation closed down the Stingaree around 2 a.m.

However, the party didn’t stop there!

Says the clubgoer, “There was one blonde who he was with most of the time that I know left in the Stingaree limo with him at the end of the night!”

Wonder what lucky lady The Situation will take in his limo after he closes down Lumen on Friday??! Cross your fingers Chicago gals… it could be you!

To kick off 2010, Kate Gosselin got herself new hair, and Jon Gosselin got himself a new girlfriend!

The reality dad is now dating Morgan Christie, a 25-year-old he met while snowboarding in Utah, a source has revealed to
Usmagazine.com.

“They’ve been inseparable,” an insider tells the
The National Enquirer. “They talk on the phone and text throughout the day, and Morgan flew to New York right after Christmas to be with him.”

The source continues, “Jon is going through a really tough time… He and Morgan are becoming very close, but he’s being really cautious because of everything he’s been through.”

Still, the Enquirer claims that “Jon is so into Morgan that he is thinking about moving to Utah to be closer to her.”

Already, Jon has brought Morgan back to his Reading, Penn. hometown, where the couple “crashed at a hotel” after Jon’s New York City apartment was broken into.

And while it’s hard to believe, the insider claims, “Jon adores Morgan and is trying his best to keep her out of the spotlight while he tries to figure out his life.”

Jon keeping his relationship out of the spotlight?! Yea. Right…

Happy Birthday Harlow!

Today, Monday Jan. 11, marks the second birthday of Harlow Winter Kate Madden, the daughter to Nicole Richie and Joel Madden.

And Nicole is set on making this the most special day for her daughter! This morning at 6 a.m., Nicole Tweeted, “Up super early sneaking around the house in the dark setting up surprises for when my birthday girl wakes up!”

And even before Nicole woke up, Harlow’s daddy wished his daughter a happy birthday via Twitter, saying, “Happy Birthday to the most beautiful little girl in the world. Harlow makes me proud every. single. Day. i’m blessed.”

Also to wish the little girl a happy b-day… Khloe Kardashian! “Happy Birthday Harlow!!!” she Tweeted earlier this morning.

What a lucky little girl! We can’t imagine what kind of presents and surprises Nicole has planned… but we bet she get’s spoiled rotten!

Looks like someone pushed Nicole Scherzinger’s buttons too far…

The Pussycat Doll and 2008 Formula 1 world champ Lewis Hamilton have announced their split after two years, confirms
Usmagazine.com.

“Nicole Scherzinger and Lewis Hamilton can confirm that they have decided to go their separate ways,” a statement read. “The two of them have decided to focus fully on their careers and will remain close friends.”

The two met back in 2007 at the MTV Europe Awards in Munich. She previously told Hello! magazine that she “was so tired at the show, but he walked into the room and brightened it up to no end.”

Ever since, “We go out, goof around and enjoy life,” she continued. “Why not? We’re both young and having fun.”

“I believe in it more with each year – every girl does,” she said. “We all strive to find a soulmate. Have I found mine yet? Keep watching!”

And another one bites the dust…

Less than a month after popping out a baby, Kourtney Kardashian debuted her post baby bod!

Cradling her son Mason Scott Disck, Kourt — wearing an off-the-shoulder black sweater with matching black leggings and boots — met up with family Sunday in Los Angeles, accompanied by boyfriend Scott Disick and sis Kim Kardashian.

While Kourtney hopes to lose the 26 pounds she gained during pregnancy, she’s not rushing into any drastic weight-loss measures just yet.

In a recent Twitter update, Kourt shared her lastest binges, which included Armenian cookies, “PB+J” sandwiches and Pinkberry.

“We decided on Chinese! PF Changs!” she posted Saturday night. “Yummy chicken lettuce cups … and some frozen yogurt for dessert!”

Kourt has plans of following in her sister’s footsteps and giving QuickTrim a shot.

“I’m going to do it with Kourtney,” mom Kris Jenner previously told Usmagazine.com. “Kourtney is going to do it for after the baby. We are very excited.”

With a newborn in her life, Kourtney has no time to be counting calories and other bogus shit right now.

“Having Mason in my life is the most amazing, indescribable thing that’s ever happened to me,” she recently posted on her website. “I am so in love with him and love having my own little family with Scott and Mason.”

Backstreet Boy A.J. McLean gets engaged… again! They say third time is a charm, right?!

The former alchy proposed to his girlfriend Rochelle Deanna Karidis while performing solo in Las Vegas Friday night, Usmagazine.com reports.

“AJ dropped down to one knee and said that they had been dating for a long time and [he] wanted to know if she would marry him,” a source tells Us. “Of course she said ‘yes,’ and they left the club shortly after this happened.”

Another witness tells E! News that McLean dropped major dough on a “beautiful ring” at Rocks the Jeweler inside the Hard Rock hotel before rushing “back to Wasted Space [to propose on-stage at] the strike of midnight, and the change of the date to Jan. 9 — his birthday!”

We hope A.J. has better luck this time around! The broad seems to be tatted up just like him, so quite possibly a match made in heaven??

Does The Hills’ favorite bitch, Kristin Cavallari, want a piece of Jersey Shore’s, The Situation’s situation?

“I’m not going to lie, I’m kind of jealous,” Cavallari told Usmagazine.com when asked about the new hit MTV show at her 23rd birthday party Saturday at Beso, Eva Longoria Parker’s Las Vegas restaurant that connects with her nightclub, Eve.

Beating The Hills out of the water with ratings, The Jersey Shore continues to hold the spot for MTV’s most watched show, and Kristin explains why…

“The Situation,” she told Us. “I mean, come on, right?”

Would Miss Hollywood ever date an super-tanned fist pumping guido?!

“Maybe, if I liked him,” she told Us. “I mean, if I was attracted to him, absolutely.”

Hmm, shall The Boots Girls play matchmaker this weekend when The Situation and DJ Pauly D hit up Lumen nightclub?!

It appears that Tila Tequila’s invite to Casey Johnson’s funeral got lost in the mail!

Or that the Johnson family simply doesn’t want her bipolar ass in attendance! Tila has not been invited to her purported fiancee’s funeral, set for this week, Usmagazine.com has learned.

“She wants so badly to go to the funeral, but nobody will give her the details or tell her anything. She is extremely frustrated, as what she shared with Casey was real and special. Nobody understood,” a source close to Tila tells Us.

Tila has spent the last week mourning the loss of Johnson via Twitter as well as bashing the entire Johnson family and exposing her craziness for the whole world to see.

In reference to the funeral, Tila told E! News, “I don’t want to talk about the funeral. I wasn’t allowed to go, and I am so upset. I can’t sleep, and I am on suicide watch.”

Uhh, look at your Twitter page girl! Casey’s family probably thinks you’ll plan up something destructive in order to make the day all about you, while having the paparazzi behind you for extra press!

The reality star has been at war with Johnson’s family and friends due to their accusations that she only used the heiress for media attention.

“The family cut Casey out for 5 years! They knew nothing about her except that she was sad…until she met me. LESBIAN MARRIAGE. Not accepted,” Tila fired back.

Chick is a nutjob! After a weekend of no sleep and a waterfall of tears, Tila appears to be in better spirits this morning.

All Casey aside, Tila Tweeted that she was feeling “happy” and planned to announce news about her record label.

Invite or not, Tila will be at the funeral. Probably outside a closed gate posing for the paps with a fake tear drawn on her face!

Although they’ve been divorced for over twenty years, it seems upon their recent break-ups Madonna and Sean Penn are revisiting their friendlier days.

On Thursday night, the two shared a three-hour dinner, just the two of them, at four-star Alain Ducasse restaurant in Manhattan. TMZ has video footage of the two leaving the venue.

It was the first marriage for both stars, and was considered a not-so-peaceful union from 1985-1989. At the time, the media dubbed them the “Poison Penns” for their constant fighting.

In 2000, Madonna went on to marry Guy Ritchie, with whom she gave birth to Rocco with and adopted David Banda from Malawi. The two split in 2008, and since, Madonna has been linked to Brazilian model Jesus Luz.

Additionally, Sean married Robin Wright Penn in 1996. The two have two children together, and after a few splits and reconciliations they finally confirmed their impending divorce in 2009.

Hmmm, looks like 2010 really is the year for new beginnings!

Since Nickelodeon’s All That, Amanda Bynes has always played a young clean-cut gal. But now, to prove she’s grown up, Amanda is posing on the cover of Maxim!

“I had the best time on this shoot,” she says of posing on the cover of the February issue. “I think every shot I did was sexy. Some people still see me as a kid, but I’m a 23-year-old woman now.”

Amanda, who stars in the upcoming flick, Easy A, wants “to show people” that she is no longer just a child star.

“My parents were like, ‘Does this mean you’re gonna do sexy movies now?’” she tells Maxim. “I said, ‘Well, if they’re done the right way, then maybe!’ I mean, I’m not gonna do porn, but if it’s a Leonardo DiCaprio movie or whatever… Point is, it’s time for me to start making my own decisions.”

And while Amanda admits she “wouldn’t mind” making out with DiCaprio, she currently has her eye on someone else!

“I like someone right now,” the star, who was last tied to Doug Reinhardt, says. “Hopefully we’ll end up becoming an official couple, but that’s something we both have to decide. Right now we’re vibing, so that’s cool.”

So, what’s Amanda’s type???

“I never really say I have a type, because every guy I’ve liked has looked physically different,” she says. “Most guys I’ve dated started as friends, though. Treat me like a friend and maybe you can become a boyfriend.”

Finally, a down-to-earth and normal actress… We didn’t think they even existed anymore!

Damn! Someone really wanted to stick it in him… and we’re not talking about former bestie Michael Lohan being all up in his ass!

A photograph of Jon Gosselin’s terrorized apartment, which displays a large Japanese chef’s knife speared through a note and stuck into the top of his dresser, has exclusively been obtained by RadarOnline.com.

See the photo HERE!

Additionally, stuffing from a shredded piece of furniture can also be seen in the photo. Gosselin reported that when he returned home pieces of clothing and ruined furniture were strewed about the apartment.

His team, blames ex-girlfriend Hailey Glassman for the destructive mess as she had recently moved her shit out of the apartment after the official break-up.

While Glassman’s attorney denies such a thing, he admits that his client did indeed take items from the apartment but only ones that belonged to her.

Hmm, we’re wondering why she left the box of Louis Vuitton goodies?!

As if the news of her deceased fiancee wasn’t enough to get her in the spotlight, Tila Tequila is now Twittering about a potential pregnancy!

“Going to doctor’s appointment in 5 hours. Eeek! Pregnancy news soon??? Stay tuned….xox” she Twittered early Friday morning.

Later, she added, “I haven’t slept going on 4 days now from the loss of my Wifey. I need to rest. Especially 4 baby!”

As of lately, Tila is being criticized by friends of the late Casey Johnson who claim Tila is using the Johnson and Johnson heiress for media attention.

And can you blame them..?!!!!

Earlier in the week, Tila cried when Nicky Hilton (the godmother to Casey’s daughter, Ava) and Bijou Phillips picked up Casey’s dogs at Tila’s L.A. home.

Upon retrieval, Tila called the cops and later blasted them as “heartless” on Twitter, claiming they were putting the dogs to sleep. Bijou however has denied all claims.

Additionally, Tila has also bashed one of Johnson’s exes, Jasmine Lennard, in several Twitter posts.

“Trust me. My Wifey is in Heaven Laughing Her Ass Off at these Posts I’m Doing,” Tila wrote Friday. “I know her better than anyone.”

Ew, this fake and confused skank is SO gross… get over yourself Tila!

Jennifer Lopez LOVES the idea that she could serve dinner on her ass!

J Lo — who’s known for her infamous ASSet — explains what skinny girls are missing out on!

“It’s true I could serve coffee using my rear as a ledge, but I’m proud of my butt,” the singer tells the New York Post.

“A dress shouldn’t look like a coat hanger,” Lopez continues, who wore a skin-tight catsuit to perform on New Year’s Eve. “Skinny girls miss out.”

Damn right they do! Especially on McDonald’s!

While J Lo might indulge in a burger and fries every now and then, she keeps her body toned by boxing and hitting the StairMaster and a little “light training and cardio… biking, weight machines and lunges to keep those thigh muscles firm,” she explains.

Embrace the booty girl!

One might think Kim Kardashian loves her newphew Mason Dash Disick more than his own mommy Kourtney!

Or… maybe Kim’s just an attention whore who LOVES to expose her life for the entire world to see… while Kourt prefers keeping shit a bit more private.

“I just got done spending time with my nephew Mason!” the reality star Twittered Thursday.

“He’s sooo cute, I can’t take it!” she posted.

We secretly think Kim’s probably jealous of Mason as he seems to be getting everyone’s attention these days.

Before sis Kourtney had the chance to even speak about her recent birth, Kim rushed to her blog to inform her fans that “the whole family is so thrilled, excited and blessed to have Mason in our lives.”

And while her equally as stubborn mother, Kris Jenner, has trouble taking on the title of grandmother, Kim said she’s coming around.

“As much as she might say she doesn’t like being called one,” Kim said, “we know she secretly loves it!!”

We wouldn’t be surprised if Kim gets paid to Tweet about Mason like she does for everything else!

The newest Bachelor season just kicked off, but the drama is already heatin up!!

Recent reports have claimed one of the contestants had an inappropriate relationship with a male producer on the hit ABC show. And now, bachelor Jake Pavelka has confirmed it’s true! Rozlyn Papa is the skank causing all the controversy!

The staff member is no longer working on the show, Jake tells Entertainment Tonight.

However, Rozlyn is still making attempts to deny the claims, exclaiming, “No, I did not have a sexual relationship with a producer on the show,” she tells RadarOnline.com. “What they mean by inappropriate relationship is not what inappropriate relationship means in the real world.”

She does admit to having a relationship with “someone on the show” but insists they are just close “friends” and not romantically linked.

Additionally, Rozlyn slams the show for being “a far cry from reality. I know that things on television weren’t always as they seemed, but I had no idea the extent of the show manipulation.”

Earlier this week, Chris Harrison The Bachelor host called the incident “incredibly unfortunate.”

“Horrible decisions were made,” he told 104.3 MY FM’s Valentine in the Morning in Los Angeles. “It was embarrassing for us and in fairness to Jake and for the other women, [we said], ‘Let’s nip this in the bud and take care of it.’ And that’s what we did.”

The scandal will be discussed on Monday’s show.

We’re sorry, but can you remember the last Bachelor/Bachelorette season that didn’t result in an “incredibly unfortunate” incident? Jason and Molly? Ed and Jillian? Maybe Rozlyn isn’t wrong when she talks about contestant manipulation…

Firecracker blonde Tamra Barney has been served!

With divorce papers that is! Her rich hubby, Simon Barney, claims that his wife “has been verbally abusive and has committed acts of disloyalty and infidelity.”

The couple — who have been married for eleven years and have three children together — have documented their recent marriage troubles on Bravo’s hit reality show The Real Housewives Of Orange County.

The once lovey-dovey pair have been at each other throats over financial issues, Tamra’s desire to re-enter the workforce, her troubled son Ryan, from another marriage, and her friendship with fellow independent housewife Vicki Gunvalson.

Before learning of her divorce, Tamra moved out of their shared home earlier this week into an apartment, RadarOnline.com reports.

Like a typical reality fame-whore, a rep for Bravo tells Usmagazine.com that Tamra has “no comment” at this time as she plans to spill the beans on air next week.

“She is going to share her story first on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Show hosted by Andy Cohen, airing next Thursday at midnight.”

While Simon claims his wife committed acts of “infidelity,” Tamra has taken to her Facebook page to call him out on his supposed bullshit.

“Thanks to everyone who understands and supports me,” she wrote. “For the record, all accusations are false.”

And don’t worry, Tamra’s nosey BFF has already spoken out on the recent accusations.

“Wonder who he thinks she cheated with?” Gunvalson said in an email to Us. “Personally, I think if Tamra spoke to a man Simon would call it cheating. Tamra has 3 little kids. That’s all I care about is making sure they get through all of this.”

Looks like Tamra’s gonna have to find another pimp daddy to pay her bills!

It only took time, but police radio transmissions from Tiger Woods’ Nov. 27 car crash have been released!

The Orange County Sheriff’s Office released the recording Thursday, eliminating all silence gaps, RadarOnline.com explains.

The audio — originally obtained by WKMG - Local 6 in Orlando — includes the dispatcher saying, “Be advised the vehicle hit the pole, the person’s on the ground.”

In case you’ve forgotten, Woods practically made love to a fire hydrant when he slammed his SUV into one AND a tree after a probable heated argument with wife Elin over his crazy man-whore antics!

Screw the police radio transmissions, we’d rather hear the shit that went down between Tiger and Elin moments before the crash! Now that would be juicy…

The Boots Girls threw in the new year with a bang in Los Angeles over the weekend and we gotta tell you, if you haven’t hit up The Rainbow on Sunset Boulevard, you haven’t seen Hollywood!

On Saturday night The Boots Girls headed over to The Rainbow in our vintage rocker tees and power rocker bracelets looking to celebrate New Year’s Eve circa 1987 — considering that every Rainbow bar-goer is permanently stuck in the 80’s.

Just after our NYE ‘87 midnight countdown with a bunch of shady characters and Russian ladies — we spotted nonetheless mega porn star Ron Jeremy! It’s been a while since we’ve seen the most famous tripod in adult film, but nothing could’ve prepared us for his assault.

Dude tried to stick his tongue down our throat in .01 seconds. Whatever happened to a simple hello?! We’re pretty sure we dodged any tongue action with Jeremy, but that’s not going to stop us from hitting up the OBGYN for an STD test just to be safe!

On any given night at the rockin’ bar you can expect to see Bush loving — as in George! — Republican rockers sporting Adam Lambert-style make-up and 80’s cowboy rockers! But all you good looking guys sporting a normal outfit — like oh say…Seven jeans, a button down shirt and a leather jacket — watch out! The rockers will be quick to say, “Who’s the square?”